one girl's struggle to embrace God's design for relationships,
one woman's journey into wholeness in marital intimacy.

Music
Made In Heaven


He’s 29; He’s an Animal Doctor

I went to a dance down at Heffley Creek
Just the other Saturday night
Neil said some old friends of his would be there—
If I’d like to join them. I said, “All right!”
So I walked over to that group standing there
To get introduced to these guys
And when I saw this one
Well, son of a gun!
I couldn’t believe my eyes

Oh, he’s twenty-nine, he’s an animal doctor
And Mother will be so pleased
He’s not a vet but he’s the closest yet
So she can set her mind at ease
Sakes alive, I’m twenty-five—
I’m not a spring chicken no more
I don’t know if it’s love, but Lord above!
Mom caught a man when she was twenty-four

We got inflamed
With a backgammon game
His friend sat there looking bored
He read a newspaper and made rude remarks
Which the two of us ignored
Yeah, Bruce looked on
The whole evening long
Of all the unmitigated gall
Then when he finally left
To catch a little rest
He didn’t miss anything at all

He’s twenty-nine, he’s an animal doctor
And you should have seen him dance
He looked like a hot dang in his lumberjack shirt
And he was looking for romance
And he was taller than me, which was nice for a change
But like a friend of mine once said:
“He’s got a pretty, pretty face and a mighty fine body
But try to get a look inside his head.”

I was a damsel in distress and you rescued me—
It was silly, but it was sweet
And only twenty minutes after I’d been telling you
How you’d swept me off my feet
I said, “Moonlight dances, Harlequin Romances,
Doctors, accidents, and drama too”
I couldn’t have been bolder
Then I crunched my shoulder
Just to get a little attention from you

Oh, he’s twenty-nine, he’s a doctor, he’s an animal
And oh! how that man could jive!
And I couldn’t really tell you what he made me feel
Except he made me feel alive
Hey there, Ms. Chatt, don’t look at me like that2*
I’ve been through this before—I’m going to be all right
’Twas just a typical romp
At a typical stomp
At Heffley, on a Saturday night

Shades of McMurray
And romantic flurry—
Hey there now, Carole, I’m going to be all right
’Twas just a typical romp
At a Heffley Stomp
On a Saturday, Saturday night

Babysitting the Telephone

Sitting here all alone
Babysitting the telephone
I’d die if anyone saw me
Sitting waiting for you to call me
Yes, I’d die if anyone saw
Me waiting for you to call

’Twas a long week ago I wrote you a letter
I s’pose I was taking a bit of a chance
Asking you to fly four hundred miles
Just to take me to a country dance
Now I know you don’t know when I’m serious
When you think I’m joking, I’m not
A couple of hours was all we had together
And now memories is all I’ve got

So I’m sitting here, trying to concentrate on singing
Wondering why that phone ain’t ringing
I’d die if anyone could see
What kind of wreck you’re making of me
Yes, I s’pose before this story ends
I’ll be committed like the rest of your friends

Gee, I liked the way you danced
Gee, you know, I even kind of liked your friend
Gee, I liked the way it all started
I hope this isn’t where it’ll end

So I’m sitting here all alone
Babysitting the telephone
I’d die if anyone saw me
Sitting waiting for you to call me
Yes, I’d die if anyone saw
Me waiting for you to call

Prayer of Repentance

Lord God, here I am, Lord—I’ve fallen again
I’m sorry, Lord, I’m sorry; I feel so ashamed
I’m only a sheep and sometimes I’m so dumb
But, Lord, I want to be walking in the light when You come
I want to be walking in the light when You come

But sometimes, Lord, I get so lonely, I don’t know what to do
I forget that loneliness cannot exist close to You
So teach me, Lord, so the next time I’ll know what to do
Take all of my loneliness and draw closer to You
Take all of my loneliness and draw closer to You

There is no temptation but such is common to man
And temptation is not sin, but it will lead you there if it can
So give me strength, Lord, and wisdom to know what to do
Walk away from temptation and draw closer to You
Walk away from temptation and draw closer to You

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves
And the truth—the truth is not in us
But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just
To forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness

Lord, this body is Your temple; I never want You to leave
But if I sin, Lord, I know it makes Your Holy Spirit grieve
So teach me, Lord, so the next time, I’ll do what I must do
Flee away from temptation and draw closer to You
Flee away from temptation and draw closer to You

Lord God, please forgive me—I’ve stumbled again
I’m sorry, Lord, I’m humbled, and I’m, oh! so ashamed
Lord, I’m only a sheep and sometimes I’m so dumb
But, Lord, I want to be walking in the light when You come
I want to be walking in the light when You come
I want to be walking in the light when You come

Heavenly Father: A Prayer

Heavenly Father, I don’t know what’s going on
I’m feeling feelings I’ve kept buried for so long
I need You more than ever before, walking every step at my side
Take me right through this valley, Lord; don’t let me run away and hide

Your ways, Lord, are so much higher than mine
You say I’m more precious than gold and the fire just comes to refine
Lord, help me to trust, and help me to obey
I see dimly through a glass now, but I’ll see it all someday

Lord Jesus, come, purge me with Your fire
I want to grow in You—Lord Jesus, take me higher
No, it’s not easy, Lord, but You never said it would be
But I want to go all the way with You, so work Your work in me

Your ways, Lord, are so much higher than mine
You say I’m more precious than gold and the fire just come to refine
When I go my own way, Lord, it causes me such pain
I want to die and bury myself in You so You’ll raise me up again

Lord Jesus, come, now baptize me with Your fire
I want to grow in You—Lord Jesus, take me higher
No, it’s not easy, Lord, but You never said it would be
Still, I want to go all the way with You, so work Your work in me
I want to go all the way with You, so work Your will in me

Revelation at Rockford

Lord, You love me when I’m up
And You love me when I’m down
You love me when I’m still
And when I’m spinning ’round and ’round
You love me when I’m bad
Just as much as when I’m good
You love me in a way
I thought nobody could

Lord, I want to love You
Please make me Your own
If it was left to me, Lord
I’d be left alone
I couldn’t even come to You
You had to bring me to that place
And everything I am now
Is only by Your grace

But sometimes, Lord, I get rebellious, and then my life gets in a whirl
I want to get things right again but, Lord, I’m a stubborn girl
So if I ask You what Your will is, remind me I’ve known it all along
And if there’s any doubt that something’s right, there ain’t no doubt it’s wrong

Lord, I want to serve You
But I can’t do it on my own
If it was not for You, Lord
I’d still be alone, alone
I cannot even come to You
Except You bring me to that place
Only by Your mercy
Only by Your grace

Because You love me when I’m up, Lord
And You love me when I’m down
You love me when I’m on my knees
And when I’m busily rushing ’round and ’round
And Lord, if I am bad
Well, even then You love me too

I don’t know why You love me
I’m just glad You do
I don’t know why You love me
I’m just glad You do
I don’t know why You love me, Lord
I’m just glad You do

What Will I Do For An Encore?

Lord, I can’t handle this guy with all of his charms
What in the world am I thinking of him for?
The very first time, I fall right into his arms
Now what will I do for an encore?

He’s such a nice guy but someone else is speaking through him
He’s so nice he doesn’t figure he needs You to renew him
And I’m kidding myself thinking I can minister to him
And what would I do for an encore?

I can’t handle this guy—he just does all the right things
And he knows that I love You, so what’s he coming on for?
If I hum a tune that the worldly world sings
Well, what will I do for an encore?

He’s such a nice gentleman, he’s hard to resist
But Your Spirit is telling me there’s something amiss
And even if nothing’s wrong with “just one little kiss”
What does a Christian do for an encore?

I can’t handle this guy with all of his charms
What in the world am I falling for him for?
The very first time, I fall right into his arms
Now what will I do for an encore?

First Love

You are my first love, Lord
I want it to stay that way
You’ve taught me to love You, Lord
Never let me stray
Although I can’t see you, Lord
Still I love You
It didn’t come naturally
Lord, You taught me to

But sometimes it seems, I’m so easily taken in
By the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of sin
But our life here passes away
Like a vapour on a summer’s day
And only what’s been taken to Your Cross, Lord, will remain

Your love is eternal, Lord
And so is our life in You
I want to love You more
Please, help me stay true
Though I can’t see you, Lord
Still I love You
It didn’t come naturally
Lord, You taught me to

The Lord is my first love
And I want it to stay that way
He’s taught me to love Him
I never want to stray
No, I can’t see my Lord
Still I love Him
It doesn’t come naturally
But by trusting on Him

It doesn’t come naturally
But by believing on Him

It’s Still Coming Up Weeds!

I went down to the garden one morning
To check on some sprouting seeds
I discovered there to my horror
Everything was coming up weeds

’Cause what you plant is what you grow
What you sow is what you reap
And if you’re not careful, before you know
You’ll find everything is coming up weeds

It was a couple of things I shouldn’t have said
A couple thoughts I shouldn’t have thought
I pretended they were little insignificant things
But Lord, I knew they were not

’Cause what you sow is just a tiny little seed
But what you grow is a great big weed
You are deceived if you don’t believe
That what you sow is what you reap

I’m filled with a godly sorrow
I’ve repented in deep regret
And I know I’m forgiven, but as sure as I’m livin’
There’s a spiritual law in effect:

What you plant is what you grow
What you sow is what you reap
And if you’re not careful, before you know
You’ll find everything is coming up weeds

I’ve been pulling those things up by the roots
But the roots go down so deep
To my dismay I find that after all this time
Lord, it’s still coming up weeds

What you sow may be a tiny little seed
But what you grow will be a great big weed
You’d better walk the walk ’cause God won’t be mocked
What you sow is what you reap

Lord, lay Your axe right to the root
’Cause if there’s one thing I don’t need
In this earthly life with all its trouble and strife
It’s a garden that’s coming up weeds!

It Amazes Me

When I’ve blown it again, and no one seems to understand
When I’ve failed so miserably, and there’s no one to even hold my hand
When I’ve fallen so far short that I could never make amends
Oh, it amazes me, Lord, You still calls me “friend”

When I feel so all alone, and everyone has let me down
When I need a friend so bad, and there’s no one around
Then in utter desperation I fall down on my knees in prayer
And it amazes me, Lord, You always meet me there

But why must I wait till I’m so desperate
Before I let You meet me there?
Why let myself become so separate
Before You draw me back to prayer?

I know my righteousness is rags; Lord Jesus, let Your grace prevail
It’s of Your mercies that I’m not consumed; Lord, Your compassions never fail
Your mercies are new every morning; Lord, Your faithfulness is great
Oh, it amazes me
Oh, it amazes me
Oh, it amazes me as I quietly wait
I need You, Lord; I come to You and wait

How Would You Feel?

How would you feel if I told you, you reminded me of someone?
How would you feel if I told you, that’s why I liked you at the start?
How would you feel if I told you, you were very much like someone—
Very much like the only one who ever really stole my heart?

How would you feel if I told you, you reminded me of someone?
And just how much you’re like him, I’d really like to see
Oh, how would you feel if I told you, you were very much like someone—
So very much like someone who meant so very much to me

But I love the Lord, and this man despised Him
I told him the Truth; he just walked away
I began to dream of the day that God would change him
And since then I’ve been just dreaming time away

Oh, he was tall . . . you are taller
He was good-looking, but not quite like you
And in my mind, the old fantasy grew smaller
As I looked at the reality of you

But he lived so far away, and you live much farther
Heaven only knows when I might see you
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother
But I loved that man—and now I think I love you

Oh, how would you feel if I told you, you reminded me of someone?
How would you feel if I told you that’s why I liked you at the start?
Now how would you feel if I told you, you’ve made me forget all about him?
How would you feel if I came to you and offered you my heart?

Oh, how can I sit here saying you remind me of this person?
How can I even compare you when you’re really worlds apart?
He despised the name of Jesus, and he’s living still in darkness
But you walked out of darkness
Oh, the light shone in your darkness
You walked out of darkness—
You’ve got Jesus living in your heart

How Many Times?

How many times have I written?
How many times have I said “I love you”?
How many times have I told you how badly by that love bug I’ve been bitten?
But still I want to tell you “I love you”

How many times have I said in a letter
That I long for you and I wish that you were near?
I thought that I’d get used to this but it’s not getting any better
Babe, I miss you, I wish you were here

I want to put my arms around you and never let you go
I want to tell you all the things I know you already know
And I’ll tell you once more in a letter if you really want me to
But I’d rather wait till you are here to say “I love you”

Oh, how many days must I keep counting?
How many nights must I feel so all alone?
My heart keeps getting emptier, my loneliness keeps mounting
And this place I live no longer feels like home

I want to put my arms around you and never let you go
I want to tell you all the things I know you already know
And I’ll tell you once more in a letter if you really want me to
But I’d rather wait till you are here to say “I love you”

Oh, how many times have I written?
How many times have I said “I love you”?
How many times have I told you how badly by that love bug I’ve been bitten?
But still I want to tell you “I love you”

Love Song

Lord, if You would, help me write a love song
To tell the world the story from the start
And Lord, If You would, help me sing this love song
To tell everyone the joy that’s in my heart

It was a long, long time ago, Lord, You first told me
You were preparing me for someone as You prepared him just for me
And though I sometimes grew faint-hearted, I never doubted You—oh, I believed you, Lord
Now the fulfilment of that promise I see

You’ve brought me to the place where I’m fulfilled in You and You alone
You’ve taught me, Lord, to come to You for each and every need
Now You give to me this man to love, to give myself to him alone
Fulfilment on fulfilment: oh, that is joy indeed

The holy state of marriage was ordained from Your Throne
As a picture in the flesh of what we’ll share with You eternally
When Christ returns to claim His Bride who’s kept herself for Him alone
We’ll clearly understand what now we only dimly see

Now, Lord, I want to thank You for the love song
You wrote for Your creation, way back at the start
And Lord, I want to sing to you this love song
Just to thank You for the joy that’s in my heart